|
|
Close Help | ||||||||||||||
His Royal Highness, 'Zbig
' to his friends, is inheritor of a long and glorious
tradition of his ancestors, going back to his great, great, great...great grandfather
Zbignieu O'Bryan I, a member of the famous Fightin' O'Bryans
of the Great War of Secession. The O'Bryans were given a tract of land on Mars for their heroics
during the war, and the Polish-Irish-American-New Zealander-Jewish-Swiss sausage merchants took
up their trade on their quarter of the Red Planet.
Driven off Mars by one of the periodic waves of Anti-New-Zealanderism that swept Mars in the past, the O'Bryan clan discovered the star system known as Ceti-Alpha V. They quickly renamed the system O'Bryan.
They were fortunate to find a system totally lacking in the art of sausage making, but their real wealth came when it was discovered that the third and fourth planets had cores of solid osmium, a theretofore rare element. (Look it up.) The third planet (now named Vienna) had a thin crust of ariable soil. From here (after the mysterious death of the natives to a plague to which humans are immune), the O'Bryans built their empire.
The famous Treaty of P'strami (signed on the sixth planet of the O'Bryan System, and also
known as the Big Sellout) joined O'Bryan to the Amalgamation of Non-Aligned Lifeforms. This
treaty was signed by 'mad
' King Zbignieu O'Bryan
XX and gave all heir-apparents to the throne the right to
a commission to Admiralcy in Starfleet. In return, the O'Bryans gave specific Osmium
trading rights to Minnehaha Mining and Manufacturing, a wholly-owned subsidiary of Niagara
Industries Limited. Then Admiral of the Fleet Hiawatha H. Niagara coerced this treaty
as Osmium was crucial to the development of new starships. It is under this Starfleet
commission that 'Zbig
' carries out the glorious tradition of his
ancestors today.
(Historical note: Zbignieu O'Bryan XX also was responsible for the official spoken language of O'Bryan system being Romansch while official documents are in Urdu. His subsequent replacement by Zbignieu O'Bryan Napoleon I as the next reigning monarch may be linked to this and similar facts.)
His Royal Highness himself is a humble, if brilliant, man, as mentioned in his Queen
Mufy Marsha O'Bryan Prize-winning article Why I Deserve To
Be King (Vol. 151, No. 1,
O'Bryan Free Press; Vienna, Vienna, O'Bryan). Born on stardate 2110.39,
'Zbig
' quickly showed the kind of drive and verve it takes to
be a space-faring flag officer and future monarch by graduating at the top of his
class at the Royal Pre-School. Although some rough years lay ahead for the young
prince, intelligence and hard work led him through King School to the Starfleet
Academy. There he overcame the tragic deaths and/or re-appointment of many of his
instructors to finish at the top of his class by special request of the Commandant.
He subsequently assumed the mantle of Admiral at the age of 18, tied with fourteen
of his ancestors for the title of youngest Admiral*.
As Admiral of the Stupendous Eleventh Fleet aboard the famed Battlewagon A.S.S. TITANIC, Zbignieu distinguished himself in the infamous Ubangmee insurrection of 8804.39. There he developed the now-famous O'Bryan Diversion referred to elsewhere. He is also credited with the design of the feared EBSYN class Assault ships (the first A.N.A.L.S. ships designed specifically to carry Starmarines to take and hold planets). The idea reportedly came to him in a dream during a staff meeting, just after the entire population of the Ubangme homeworld blew themselves up, taking with them their entire videotape collection. Further information about this historic event is available along with false claims advanced by the estates of former staff members.
For his heroism and gallantry, Prince Zbignieu O'Bryan was promoted and now mounts his ancestral Battle Throne as Rear Admiral, the first O'Bryan to be so honored.
He was married to Princess Muffy Inez Rosenberg on stardate 3012.78, and has one son, Zbignieu O'Bryan XXXIII.
All facts stated above are sworn to me to be as true as possible.
[Signed]
Stretsh de Treauth,
B.A.,
M.A.,
Ph.D.,
University of Lake Pomona
Royal Biographer
Keeping the peace as best we can."
] 
] 
] 
] 
] 
] 
] 
