The Amalgamation of Non-Aligned Lifeforms Starfleet

(The A.N.A.L. Starfleet)

ASK DR. FORTRAN

by Dr. Pascal Fortran

deer drfortran,

plese hepl me. i red that peepul hoo lissen two clasicle muzik be4 a eyeQ test make hyer skores an tha t clazical musik makes yoo smartr. well, i lissend too sum clasicull mewsick played bachwurds an now i thinkk i got dummer. im a nookleer fiz-a-cyst, an i'l luze mi jobe if i'm dummer. if eye kant git smartr lik i uze2B, i doant no wut i'll due. im cownteen on you fore hep.

pea S . . . i alsew wached a wurkout videeo en reeverse an ganed ten poundz.

sinseerly,

dummer then a fense poast

By the time this reply reaches you, I fear it will be too late. I see you weighing 300 pounds and haunting the banks of a river, molesting unsuspecting canoers who squeal like pigs similar to what happened in the movie Deliverance. Be wary of a man carrying a bow and arrow.

---

Back

---