Amalgamation of Non-Aligned Lifeforms Starfleet
A.N.A.L. STARFLEET OFFICER RECORD
- Last Revised:
- Stardate 9053.39
- Officer Name:
- GROESHREES, Bloeda Rowlpf
- DATE OF BIRTH:
- 6:7954.46
- PLACE OF BIRTH:
- Isle of Coookies, Crackers and Crumbs, Planet Schwegmann, Superstore System
- PARENT(S):
- Macon Groeshrees; Tossda Kukees
Groeshrees was born to a wealthy socialite family. He inherited his mother's muscular
diaphragm and his father's flair for accounting. He tried his hand at engineering school
but was expelled after ruining a prominent professor's project with a powerful gastric
eruption. He moved on to Hahvahd Buzzy Nest School, where he developed the multiple-book
accounting method which proves that E=$GIGEAUX and that space is
not curved nor bent, but crooked. Bloeda became acquainted with H.L. Niagara of Niagara
Industries, Ltd. (limited to the known universe) during the friendly takeover of
Groeshrees & Son (whose motto is 'If you torture the books long enough,
they will admit to anything.
") Wisely taking Niagara's advice, he entered Starfleet
Academy on stardate 7:1447.19
CONDENSED STARFLEET RECORD
- 4054.39
- Graduated Starfleet Academy with honors, using family influence, and through the personal
recommendation of Exalted Lord High Admiral H. L. Niagara.
- 4061.62 Major Captain, Accountant, Starfleet Command, L. Pomona, Earth.
- Groeshrees' record-keeping skills soon had Starfleet Command completely in the black,
showing phenomenal profitssurplusses which remain legendary today.
(Many top officials of that department have since retired early, purchasing planets for
residences in their leisure years.)
- 6935.20
- At a dinner party held for the Obsidian Ambassador, Bloeda displayed the talent his
mother gave him, upon the guest of honor. The Ambassador felt complimented by the unselfish
generosity of Bloeda, as sharing one's food is the highest honor one can bestow in
the Obsidian Empire. The Ambassador insisted that Bloeda be present during all dealings
between the Amalgamation and the Obsidian Empire.
- 6936.69 P. C. S. L. Admiral, Fleet Commander, DYF-0159
A.S.S. MAINE
- Groeshrees heads the Eradicating Eighth Fleet, guarding the Obsidian Sector. He never
failed to keep the peace as best he could, despite often overwhelming odds.
- 8904.07 P. C. S. L. Admiral, Fleet Commander, HAK-2002
A.S.S. EXCORIATION
- Groeshrees proves that it is possible to command an EXPECTORATION
class starship in the absence of an ostentatious command style.
- 8985.39
- The Obsidian Emperor suffered a heart attack, and Groeshrees fell out of favor in the
Obsidian Sector.
- 9014.75
- Delivered his famous "
Lunch
" Speech.
- 9039.07
- Transferred to Commander, Second Fleet in accordance with Operation Coronary.
"Keeping the peace as best we can.
"
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