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The Amalgamation 151st District has just agreed to a request for a hearing today to settle the succession of the late Admiral of the Fleet Hiawatha L. Niagara.
A Writ of Salve Nostrum Rectum was requested by Admiral Sam T. Drucker, on behalf of the Amalgamation of Non-Aligned Lifeforms, and a decision was returned at 0900 hours Lake Pomona Standard Time.
In the Writ, Judge Lanz Freetoe said that he agreed with the government's
contention that the succession was to dear to galactic integrity, security and
vapidity. "It is my court's opinion that we must settle this matter as soon
as possible, like this afternoon,
" read the document issued by Judge Freetoe.
Judge Pringle of the same court agreed. "We can't let this much power and
money just hang around collecting interest. Hell, the banks ain't got that
kind of money!
"
More information is expected to follow as events unfold. Stay tuned to this column for further Developments.
Just released: The 151st Amalgamation Court has published the list of presenting attorneys for this afternoon's hearing.
For the contestants, representing Captain Hiawatha M. Niagara will be Georgio Wexleri of the legal giant Uchello, Trippodo, Tuminello, Sunseri, Spicuzza, Michelli, et al of Lake Pomona. On the other side, Lady Lois Steam of Benny, Berle, Burns, Allen, Allen, et al, of Vultron will be the spokesperson for Admiral Wil E. Dicker.
Other parties with a legitimate interest will also be pleading before the court. As announced, Admiral Sam T. Drucker, of Bunny, Duck, Pig, Mouse, Hawk, Fudd, etc. of Wahnah Bros, will be speaking for the state. Presenting the case and interests of the galactic behemoth General Titanics will be Galactic Know-It-All Admiral Wilhelm Klink of the law firm of Klink, Ho and Toe.
One party with illegitimate interest in the case is the Intergalactic Democratic Idealists Opposing Totalitarian Subjugation (IDIOTS). They have selected a relatively unknown lawyer, Wolf J. Flywheel, of Doc, Dopey, Grumpy, Happy, Sleepy, Sneezy, Floppy, Drippy and others. Word has it that IDIOTS was allowed into the case in order to provide entertainment value to the televised trial.
We are sure there's more information coming, and we'll print it as soon as it becomes available.
TRIAL OF THE MILLENNIUM" TO SHOW ON CHANNEL 151
The Son Broadcasting System beat out 523 other broadcasters for the right to show this afternoon's Niagara Succession hearing. The pre-game show is set to start at 1600 hours today on Ch. 151.
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