The Amalgamation©, etc. On-Line (AOL?) is the official news appendage of the Amalgamation of Non-Aligned Lifeforms Starfleet and may or may not have any collation to the truth. The print version of this is one of the hottest selling free newsletters around. Coveted by few and used as hamster bedding by many, the Amalgamation searches for the truth, and if we don't find it, we'll make something up. We even have our own wire services, Niagara News Network (NNN), Niagara Press Intergalactic (NPI) and Niagara Intergalactic Press Service (NIPS) to name a few. We publish anywhere between 3 and 8 issues a year, dependent on time, attitude, inspiration and level of intoxication. To answer your question, no we don't mail them. Please bear in mind that it takes an average of 6 issues to start and finish a war, cover an incident or to humiliate a fellow officer. If this is your first time reading the Amalgamation, we promise to be gentle with you and to respect you in the morning. (Why would we start now?) Those who are frail of mind or humor impaired, please turn back now. Our lawyers require us to state that this is a parody folks, any resemblance to any person living or dead, lying in a frozen or intoxicated state is probably intentional.

Our motto: ADJUSTING THE NEWS AS BEST WE CAN.

The opinions expressed here represent the opinions of the authors and do not represent the opinions of those who hold other opinions.